Менсфілд Парк

Chapter XLVII

           ThatthoughIhad,inthecourseofouracquaintance,beenoftensensibleofsomedifferenceinouropinions,onpoints,too,ofsomemoment,ithadnotenteredmyimaginationtoconceivethedifferencecouldbesuchasshehadnowprovedit.Thatthemannerinwhichshetreatedthedreadfulcrimecommittedbyherbrotherandmysister(withwhomlaythegreaterseductionIpretendednottosay),butthemannerinwhichshespokeofthecrimeitself,givingiteveryreproachbuttheright;consideringitsillconsequencesonlyastheyweretobebravedoroverbornebyadefianceofdecencyandimpudenceinwrong;andlastofall,andaboveall,recommendingtousacompliance,acompromise,anacquiescenceinthecontinuanceofthesin,onthechanceofamarriagewhich,thinkingasInowthoughtofherbrother,shouldratherbepreventedthansought;allthistogethermostgrievouslyconvincedmethatIhadneverunderstoodherbefore,andthat,asfarasrelatedtomind,ithadbeenthecreatureofmyownimagination,notMissCrawford,thatIhadbeentooapttodwellonformanymonthspast.That,perhaps,itwasbestforme;Ihadlesstoregretinsacrificingafriendship,feelings,hopeswhichmust,atanyrate,havebeentornfrommenow.Andyet,thatImustandwouldconfessthat,couldIhaverestoredhertowhatshehadappearedtomebefore,Iwouldinfinitelypreferanyincreaseofthepainofparting,forthesakeofcarryingwithmetherightoftendernessandesteem.ThisiswhatIsaid,thepurportofit;but,asyoumayimagine,notspokensocollectedlyormethodicallyasIhaverepeatedittoyou.

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