Менсфілд Парк

Chapter XXXVII

           Afterwards,whenfamiliarisedwiththevisionsofenjoymentsosuddenlyopened,shecouldspeakmorelargelytoWilliamandEdmundofwhatshefelt;butstilltherewereemotionsoftendernessthatcouldnotbeclothedinwords.Theremembranceofallherearliestpleasures,andofwhatshehadsufferedinbeingtornfromthem,cameoverherwithrenewedstrength,anditseemedasiftobeathomeagainwouldhealeverypainthathadsincegrownoutoftheseparation.Tobeinthecentreofsuchacircle,lovedbysomany,andmorelovedbyallthanshehadeverbeenbefore;tofeelaffectionwithoutfearorrestraint;tofeelherselftheequalofthosewhosurroundedher;tobeatpeacefromallmentionoftheCrawfords,safefromeverylookwhichcouldbefanciedareproachontheiraccount.Thiswasaprospecttobedweltonwithafondnessthatcouldbebuthalfacknowledged.

           Edmund,too—tobetwomonthsfromhim(andperhapsshemightbeallowedtomakeherabsencethree)mustdohergood.Atadistance,unassailedbyhislooksorhiskindness,andsafefromtheperpetualirritationofknowinghisheart,andstrivingtoavoidhisconfidence,sheshouldbeabletoreasonherselfintoapropererstate;sheshouldbeabletothinkofhimasinLondon,andarrangingeverythingthere,withoutwretchedness.WhatmighthavebeenhardtobearatMansfieldwastobecomeaslightevilatPortsmouth.

           TheonlydrawbackwasthedoubtofherauntBertram’sbeingcomfortablewithouther.

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