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Chapter XXXII

           "Itisstrange,"pursuedhe,"thatwhileIloveRosamondOliversowildlywithalltheintensity,indeed,ofafirstpassion,theobjectofwhichisexquisitelybeautiful,graceful,fascinating Iexperienceatthesametimeacalm,unwarpedconsciousnessthatshewouldnotmakemeagoodwife;thatsheisnotthepartnersuitedtome;thatIshoulddiscoverthiswithinayearaftermarriage;andthattotwelvemonths’rapturewouldsucceedalifetimeofregret.ThisIknow." 

           "Strangeindeed!"Icouldnothelpejaculating. 

           "Whilesomethinginme,"hewenton,"isacutelysensibletohercharms,somethingelseisasdeeplyimpressedwithherdefects:theyaresuchthatshecouldsympathiseinnothingIaspiredtoco-operateinnothingIundertook. Rosamondasufferer,alabourer,afemaleapostle?Rosamondamissionary’swife?No!" 

           "Butyouneednotbeamissionary.Youmightrelinquishthatscheme." 

           "Relinquish!What!myvocation?Mygreatwork?Myfoundationlaidonearthforamansioninheaven? Myhopesofbeingnumberedinthebandwhohavemergedallambitionsinthegloriousoneofbetteringtheirraceofcarryingknowledgeintotherealmsofignoranceofsubstitutingpeaceforwarfreedomforbondagereligionforsuperstitionthehopeofheavenforthefearofhell? MustIrelinquishthat?Itisdearerthanthebloodinmyveins. ItiswhatIhavetolookforwardto,andtolivefor." 

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