Джейн Ейр

Chapter XXVII

           Hewhoistakenouttopassthroughafairscenetothescaffold,thinksnotoftheflowersthatsmileonhisroad,butoftheblockandaxe-edge;ofthedissevermentofboneandvein;ofthegravegapingattheend:andIthoughtofdrearflightandhomelesswanderingandoh!withagonyIthoughtofwhatIleft.Icouldnothelpit. Ithoughtofhimnowinhisroomwatchingthesunrise;hopingIshouldsooncometosayIwouldstaywithhimandbehis. Ilongedtobehis;Ipantedtoreturn:itwasnottoolate;Icouldyetsparehimthebitterpangofbereavement.Asyetmyflight,Iwassure,wasundiscovered.Icouldgobackandbehiscomforterhispride;hisredeemerfrommisery,perhapsfromruin. Oh,thatfearofhisself-abandonmentfarworsethanmyabandonmenthowitgoadedme!Itwasabarbedarrow-headinmybreast;ittoremewhenItriedtoextractit;itsickenedmewhenremembrancethrustitfartherin. Birdsbegansinginginbrakeandcopse:birdswerefaithfultotheirmates;birdswereemblemsoflove.WhatwasI?Inthemidstofmypainofheartandfranticeffortofprinciple,Iabhorredmyself. Ihadnosolacefromself-approbation:noneevenfromself-respect.Ihadinjuredwoundedleftmymaster.Iwashatefulinmyowneyes.StillIcouldnotturn,norretraceonestep.Godmusthaveledmeon. Astomyownwillorconscience,impassionedgriefhadtrampledoneandstifledtheother.IwasweepingwildlyasIwalkedalongmysolitaryway:fast,fastIwentlikeonedelirious. 

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