Джейн Ейр

Chapter XXVII

           Theairwaslikesulphur-steamsIcouldfindnorefreshmentanywhere. Mosquitoescamebuzzinginandhummedsullenlyroundtheroom;thesea,whichIcouldhearfromthence,rumbleddulllikeanearthquakeblackcloudswerecastingupoverit;themoonwassettinginthewaves,broadandred,likeahotcannon-ballshethrewherlastbloodyglanceoveraworldquiveringwiththefermentoftempest. Iwasphysicallyinfluencedbytheatmosphereandscene,andmyearswerefilledwiththecursesthemaniacstillshriekedout;whereinshemomentarilymingledmynamewithsuchatoneofdemon-hate,withsuchlanguage!noprofessedharloteverhadafoulervocabularythanshe: thoughtworoomsoff,IheardeverywordthethinpartitionsoftheWestIndiahouseopposingbutslightobstructiontoherwolfishcries. 

           "‘Thislife,’saidIatlast,‘ishell:thisistheairthosearethesoundsofthebottomlesspit!IhavearighttodelivermyselffromitifIcan. Thesufferingsofthismortalstatewillleavemewiththeheavyfleshthatnowcumbersmysoul. Ofthefanatic’sburningeternityIhavenofear:thereisnotafuturestateworsethanthispresentoneletmebreakaway,andgohometoGod!’ 

           "IsaidthiswhilstIkneltdownat,andunlockedatrunkwhichcontainedabraceofloadedpistols:Imeantoshootmyself. Ionlyentertainedtheintentionforamoment;for,notbeinginsane,thecrisisofexquisiteandunalloyeddespair,whichhadoriginatedthewishanddesignofself-destruction,waspastinasecond. 

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