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Chapter XXVI

           AChristmasfrosthadcomeatmidsummer;awhiteDecemberstormhadwhirledoverJune;iceglazedtheripeapples,driftscrushedtheblowingroses;onhayfieldandcornfieldlayafrozenshroud:laneswhichlastnightblushedfullofflowers,to-daywerepathlesswithuntroddensnow;andthewoods,whichtwelvehourssincewavedleafyandflagrantasgrovesbetweenthetropics,nowspread,waste,wild,andwhiteaspine-forestsinwintryNorway. Myhopeswerealldeadstruckwithasubtledoom,suchas,inonenight,fellonallthefirst-borninthelandofEgypt. Ilookedonmycherishedwishes,yesterdaysobloomingandglowing;theylaystark,chill,lividcorpsesthatcouldneverrevive. Ilookedatmylove:thatfeelingwhichwasmymaster’swhichhehadcreated;itshiveredinmyheart,likeasufferingchildinacoldcradle;sicknessandanguishhadseizedit;itcouldnotseekMr.Rochester’sarmsitcouldnotderivewarmthfromhisbreast. Oh,nevermorecoulditturntohim;forfaithwasblightedconfidencedestroyed!Mr.Rochesterwasnottomewhathehadbeen;forhewasnotwhatIhadthoughthim. Iwouldnotascribevicetohim;Iwouldnotsayhehadbetrayedme;buttheattributeofstainlesstruthwasgonefromhisidea,andfromhispresenceImustgo:thatIperceivedwell. Whenhowwhither,Icouldnotyetdiscern;buthehimself,Idoubtednot,wouldhurrymefromThornfield. Realaffection,itseemed,hecouldnothaveforme;ithadbeenonlyfitfulpassion:thatwasbalked;hewouldwantmenomore. Ishouldfeareventocrosshispathnow:myviewmustbehatefultohim. Oh,howblindhadbeenmyeyes!Howweakmyconduct! 

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