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Chapter IV

           Bessiesuppliedthehiatusbyahomilyofanhour’slength,inwhichsheprovedbeyondadoubtthatIwasthemostwickedandabandonedchildeverrearedunderaroof. Ihalfbelievedher;forIfeltindeedonlybadfeelingssurginginmybreast. 

           November,December,andhalfofJanuarypassedaway. ChristmasandtheNewYearhadbeencelebratedatGatesheadwiththeusualfestivecheer;presentshadbeeninterchanged,dinnersandeveningpartiesgiven. FromeveryenjoymentIwas,ofcourse,excluded:myshareofthegaietyconsistedinwitnessingthedailyapparellingofElizaandGeorgiana,andseeingthemdescendtothedrawing-room,dressedoutinthinmuslinfrocksandscarletsashes,withhairelaboratelyringletted;andafterwards,inlisteningtothesoundofthepianoortheharpplayedbelow,tothepassingtoandfroofthebutlerandfootman,tothejinglingofglassandchinaasrefreshmentswerehanded,tothebrokenhumofconversationasthedrawing-roomdooropenedandclosed. Whentiredofthisoccupation,Iwouldretirefromthestairheadtothesolitaryandsilentnursery:there,thoughsomewhatsad,Iwasnotmiserable. Tospeaktruth,Ihadnottheleastwishtogointocompany,forincompanyIwasveryrarelynoticed;andifBessiehadbutbeenkindandcompanionable,Ishouldhavedeemeditatreattospendtheeveningsquietlywithher,insteadofpassingthemundertheformidableeyeofMrs.Reed,inaroomfullofladiesandgentlemen. ButBessie,assoonasshehaddressedheryoungladies,usedtotakeherselfofftothelivelyregionsofthekitchenandhousekeeper’sroom,generallybearingthecandlealongwithher. Ithensatwithmydollonmykneetillthefiregotlow,glancingroundoccasionallytomakesurethatnothingworsethanmyselfhauntedtheshadowyroom;andwhentheemberssanktoadullred,Iundressedhastily,tuggingatknotsandstringsasIbestmight,andsoughtshelterfromcoldanddarknessinmycrib. 

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