Джейн Ейр

Chapter XVIII

           IfMissIngramhadbeenagoodandnoblewoman,endowedwithforce,fervour,kindness,sense,Ishouldhavehadonevitalstrugglewithtwotigersjealousyanddespair: then,myhearttornoutanddevoured,Ishouldhaveadmiredheracknowledgedherexcellence,andbeenquietfortherestofmydays:andthemoreabsolutehersuperiority,thedeeperwouldhavebeenmyadmirationthemoretrulytranquilmyquiescence. Butasmattersreallystood,towatchMissIngram’seffortsatfascinatingMr.Rochester,towitnesstheirrepeatedfailureherselfunconsciousthattheydidfail;vainlyfancyingthateachshaftlaunchedhitthemark,andinfatuatedlyplumingherselfonsuccess,whenherprideandself-complacencyrepelledfurtherandfurtherwhatshewishedtoalluretowitnessthis,wastobeatonceunderceaselessexcitationandruthlessrestraint. 

           Because,whenshefailed,Isawhowshemighthavesucceeded. ArrowsthatcontinuallyglancedofffromMr.Rochester’sbreastandfellharmlessathisfeet,might,Iknew,ifshotbyasurerhand,havequiveredkeeninhisproudhearthavecalledloveintohissterneye,andsoftnessintohissardonicface;or,betterstill,withoutweaponsasilentconquestmighthavebeenwon. 

           "Whycanshenotinfluencehimmore,whensheisprivilegedtodrawsoneartohim?"Iaskedmyself. "Surelyshecannottrulylikehim,ornotlikehimwithtrueaffection! Ifshedid,sheneednotcoinhersmilessolavishly,flashherglancessounremittingly,manufactureairssoelaborate,gracessomultitudinous. 

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