Джейн Ейр

Chapter XVIII

           Ihavetoldyou,reader,thatIhadlearnttoloveMr.Rochester: Icouldnotunlovehimnow,merelybecauseIfoundthathehadceasedtonoticemebecauseImightpasshoursinhispresence,andhewouldneveronceturnhiseyesinmydirectionbecauseIsawallhisattentionsappropriatedbyagreatlady,whoscornedtotouchmewiththehemofherrobesasshepassed;who,ifeverherdarkandimperiouseyefellonmebychance,wouldwithdrawitinstantlyasfromanobjecttoomeantomeritobservation. Icouldnotunlovehim,becauseIfeltsurehewouldsoonmarrythisveryladybecauseIreaddailyinheraproudsecurityinhisintentionsrespectingherbecauseIwitnessedhourlyinhimastyleofcourtshipwhich,ifcarelessandchoosingrathertobesoughtthantoseek,wasyet,initsverycarelessness,captivating,andinitsverypride,irresistible. 

           Therewasnothingtocoolorbanishloveinthesecircumstances,thoughmuchtocreatedespair. Muchtoo,youwillthink,reader,toengenderjealousy:ifawoman,inmyposition,couldpresumetobejealousofawomaninMissIngram’s. ButIwasnotjealous:orveryrarely;thenatureofthepainIsufferedcouldnotbeexplainedbythatword. MissIngramwasamarkbeneathjealousy:shewastooinferiortoexcitethefeeling. Pardontheseemingparadox;ImeanwhatIsay. Shewasveryshowy,butshewasnotgenuine:shehadafineperson,manybrilliantattainments;buthermindwaspoor,herheartbarrenbynature:nothingbloomedspontaneouslyonthatsoil;nounforcednaturalfruitdelightedbyitsfreshness. 

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