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Chapter II

           AllJohnReed’sviolenttyrannies,allhissisters’proudindifference,allhismother’saversion,alltheservants’partiality,turnedupinmydisturbedmindlikeadarkdepositinaturbidwell. WhywasIalwayssuffering,alwaysbrowbeaten,alwaysaccused,forevercondemned? WhycouldIneverplease?Whywasituselesstotrytowinanyone’sfavour? Eliza,whowasheadstrongandselfish,wasrespected.Georgiana,whohadaspoiledtemper,averyacridspite,acaptiousandinsolentcarriage,wasuniversallyindulged. Herbeauty,herpinkcheeksandgoldencurls,seemedtogivedelighttoallwholookedather,andtopurchaseindemnityforeveryfault. Johnnoonethwarted,muchlesspunished;thoughhetwistedthenecksofthepigeons,killedthelittlepea-chicks,setthedogsatthesheep,strippedthehothousevinesoftheirfruit,andbrokethebudsoffthechoicestplantsintheconservatory:hecalledhismother"oldgirl,"too;sometimesreviledherforherdarkskin,similartohisown;bluntlydisregardedherwishes;notunfrequentlytoreandspoiledhersilkattire;andhewasstill"herowndarling." Idaredcommitnofault: Istrovetofulfileveryduty;andIwastermednaughtyandtiresome,sullenandsneaking,frommorningtonoon,andfromnoontonight. 

           MyheadstillachedandbledwiththeblowandfallIhadreceived: noonehadreprovedJohnforwantonlystrikingme;andbecauseIhadturnedagainsthimtoavertfartherirrationalviolence,Iwasloadedwithgeneralopprobrium. 

           "Unjust!unjust!"saidmyreason,forcedbytheagonisingstimulusintoprecociousthoughtransitorypower:andResolve,equallywroughtup,instigatedsomestrangeexpedienttoachieveescapefrominsupportableoppressionasrunningaway,or,ifthatcouldnotbeeffected,nevereatingordrinkingmore,andlettingmyselfdie. 

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