Крошка Доррит

Chapter 33. Going!

           Hereitis!’

           FatherandMotherMeaglesneverdeservedtheirnamesbetterthanwhentheytooktheheadstrongfoundling-girlintotheirprotectionagain.

           ‘Oh!Ihavebeensowretched,’criedTattycoram,weepingmuchmore,‘alwayssounhappy,andsorepentant!IwasafraidofherfromthefirsttimeIsawher.Iknewshehadgotapowerovermethroughunderstandingwhatwasbadinmesowell.Itwasamadnessinme,andshecouldraiseitwheneversheliked.Iusedtothink,whenIgotintothatstate,thatpeoplewereallagainstmebecauseofmyfirstbeginning;andthekindertheyweretome,theworsefaultIfoundinthem.Imadeitoutthattheytriumphedaboveme,andthattheywantedtomakemeenvythem,whenIknow—whenIevenknewthen—thattheyneverthoughtofsuchathing.Andmybeautifulyoungmistressnotsohappyassheoughttohavebeen,andIgoneawayfromher!Suchabruteandawretchasshemustthinkme!Butyou’llsayawordtoherforme,andaskhertobeasforgivingasyoutwoare?ForIamnotsobadasIwas,’pleadedTattycoram;‘Iambadenough,butnotsobadasIwas,indeed.IhavehadMissWadebeforemeallthistime,asifitwasmyownselfgrownripe—turningeverythingthewrongway,andtwistingallgoodintoevil.Ihavehadherbeforemeallthistime,findingnopleasureinanythingbutkeepingmeasmiserable,suspicious,andtormentingasherself.Notthatshehadmuchtodo,todothat,’criedTattycoram,inaclosinggreatburstofdistress,‘forIwasasbadasbadcouldbe.

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