Менсфілд Парк

Chapter XLV

           Tobelosingsuchpleasureswasnotrifle;tobelosingthem,becauseshewasinthemidstofclosenessandnoise,tohaveconfinement,badair,badsmells,substitutedforliberty,freshness,fragrance,andverdure,wasinfinitelyworse:buteventheseincitementstoregretwerefeeble,comparedwithwhatarosefromtheconvictionofbeingmissedbyherbestfriends,andthelongingtobeusefultothosewhowerewantingher!

           Couldshehavebeenathome,shemighthavebeenofservicetoeverycreatureinthehouse.Shefeltthatshemusthavebeenofusetoall.Toallshemusthavesavedsometroubleofheadorhand;andwereitonlyinsupportingthespiritsofherauntBertram,keepingherfromtheevilofsolitude,orthestillgreaterevilofarestless,officiouscompanion,tooapttobeheighteningdangerinordertoenhanceherownimportance,herbeingtherewouldhavebeenageneralgood.Shelovedtofancyhowshecouldhavereadtoheraunt,howshecouldhavetalkedtoher,andtriedatoncetomakeherfeeltheblessingofwhatwas,andpreparehermindforwhatmightbe;andhowmanywalksupanddownstairsshemighthavesavedher,andhowmanymessagesshemighthavecarried.

           ItastonishedherthatTom’ssisterscouldbesatisfiedwithremaininginLondonatsuchatime,throughanillnesswhichhadnow,underdifferentdegreesofdanger,lastedseveralweeks.TheymightreturntoMansfieldwhentheychose;travellingcouldbenodifficultytothem,andshecouldnotcomprehendhowbothcouldstillkeepaway.IfMrs.

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