Менсфілд Парк

Chapter XXIX

           Insomepointsofinteresttheywereexactlyopposedtoeachother.ToFanny’smind,Edmund’sabsencewasreally,initscauseanditstendency,arelief.ToMaryitwaseverywaypainful.Shefeltthewantofhissocietyeveryday,almosteveryhour,andwastoomuchinwantofittoderiveanythingbutirritationfromconsideringtheobjectforwhichhewent.Hecouldnothavedevisedanythingmorelikelytoraisehisconsequencethanthisweek’sabsence,occurringasitdidattheverytimeofherbrother’sgoingaway,ofWilliamPrice’sgoingtoo,andcompletingthesortofgeneralbreak-upofapartywhichhadbeensoanimated.Shefeltitkeenly.Theywerenowamiserabletrio,confinedwithindoorsbyaseriesofrainandsnow,withnothingtodoandnovarietytohopefor.AngryasshewaswithEdmundforadheringtohisownnotions,andactingonthemindefianceofher(andshehadbeensoangrythattheyhadhardlypartedfriendsattheball),shecouldnothelpthinkingofhimcontinuallywhenabsent,dwellingonhismeritandaffection,andlongingagainforthealmostdailymeetingstheylatelyhad.Hisabsencewasunnecessarilylong.Heshouldnothaveplannedsuchanabsence—heshouldnothavelefthomeforaweek,whenherowndeparturefromMansfieldwassonear.Thenshebegantoblameherself.Shewishedshehadnotspokensowarmlyintheirlastconversation.Shewasafraidshehadusedsomestrong,somecontemptuousexpressionsinspeakingoftheclergy,andthatshouldnothavebeen.Itwasill-bred;itwaswrong.Shewishedsuchwordsunsaidwithallherheart.

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