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Chapter 5

           Whycan’ttheybeRothschilds?WhosefaultisitthatamanhasnotgotmillionsofmoneylikeRothschild?Ifhehaslife,allthismustbeinhispower!Whosefaultisitthathedoesnotknowhowtolivehislife?

           “Oh!it’sallthesametomenownow!ButatthattimeIwouldsoakmypillowatnightwithtearsofmortification,andtearatmyblanketinmyrageandfury.Oh,howIlongedatthattimetobeturnedoutme,eighteenyearsold,poor,half-clothed,turnedoutintothestreet,quitealone,withoutlodging,withoutwork,withoutacrustofbread,withoutrelations,withoutasingleacquaintance,insomelargetownhungry,beaten(ifyoulike),butingoodhealthandthenIwouldshowthem

           “WhatwouldIshowthem?

           “Oh,don’tthinkthatIhavenosenseofmyownhumiliation!Ihavesufferedalreadyinreadingsofar.WhichofyoualldoesnotthinkmeafoolatthismomentayoungfoolwhoknowsnothingoflifeforgettingthattoliveasIhavelivedtheselastsixmonthsistolivelongerthangrey-hairedoldmen.Well,letthemlaugh,andsayitisallnonsense,iftheyplease.Theymaysayitisallfairy-tales,iftheylike;andIhavespentwholenightstellingmyselffairy-tales.Irememberthemall.ButhowcanItellfairy-talesnow?Thetimeforthemisover.TheyamusedmewhenIfoundthattherewasnoteventimeformetolearntheGreekgrammar,asIwantedtodo.‘IshalldiebeforeIgettothesyntax,’Ithoughtatthefirstpageandthrewthebookunderthetable.

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