Американская трагедия

Chapter 34

           Theseguards!Theywiththeirletters,theirinquiries,theirpleasantandyetreallyhollowwords,theirtripstodolittlefavors,ortotakethemeninandoutoftheyardortotheirbathstheywereiron,toomeremachines,automatons,pushingandpushingandyetrestrainingandrestrainingonewithinthesewalls,asreadytokillastofavorincaseofoppositionbutpushing,pushing,pushingalwaystowardthatlittledooroverthere,fromwhichtherewasnoescapenoescapejustonandonuntilatlasttheywouldpushhimthroughitnevertoreturn!NEVERTORETURN!

           Eachtimehethoughtofthishearoseandwalkedthefloor.Afterwards,usually,heresumedthepuzzleofhisownguilt.HetriedtothinkofRobertaandtheevilhehaddoneher,toreadtheBibleevenlyingonhisfaceontheironcotrepeatingoverandover:"Lord,givemepeace.Lord,givemelight.Lord,givemestrengthtoresistanyevilthoughtsthatIshouldnothave.IknowIamnotwhollywhite.Oh,no.IknowIplottedevil.Yes,yes,Iknowthat.Iconfess.ButmustIreallydienow?Istherenohelp?Willyounothelpme,Lord?Willyounotmanifestyourself,asmymothersaysyouwillforme?WillyougettheGovernortochangemysentencebeforethefinalmomenttolifeimprisonment?WillyougettheReverendMcMillantochangehisviewsandgotohim,andmymother,too?Iwilldriveoutallsinfulthoughts.Iwillbedifferent.Oh,yes,Iwill,ifyouwillonlyspareme.Donotletmedienowsosoon.Donot.

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