Chapter 14

           TheresultofallthisonClydewastocausehimtothinkmorespecificallyontheproblemofthesexesthanheeverhadbefore,andbynomeansinanyorthodoxway.Forwhilehecondemnedhissister’sloverforthusruthlesslydesertingher,stillhewasnotwillingtoholdherentirelyblamelessbyanymeans.Shehadgoneoffwithhim.Ashenowlearnedfromher,hehadbeeninthecityforaweektheyearbeforesheranawaywithhim,anditwasthenthathehadintroducedhimselftoher.Thefollowingyearwhenhereturnedfortwoweeks,itwasshewholookedhimup,orsoClydesuspected,atanyrate.AndinviewofhisowninterestinandmoodregardingHortenseBriggs,itwasnotforhimtosaythattherewasanythingwrongwiththesexrelationinitself.

           Rather,ashesawitnow,thedifficultylay,notinthedeeditself,butintheconsequenceswhichfolloweduponnotthinkingornotknowing.ForhadEstaknownmoreofthemaninwhomshewasinterested,moreofwhatsucharelationshipwithhimmeant,shewouldnotbeinherpresentpatheticplight.CertainlysuchgirlsasHortenseBriggs,GretaandLouise,wouldneverhaveallowedthemselvestobeputinanysuchpositionasEsta.Orwouldthey?Theyweretooshrewd.Andbycontrastwiththeminhismind,atleastatthistime,shesuffered.Sheought,ashesawit,tohavebeenabletomanagebetter.Andso,bydegrees,hisattitudetowardherhardenedinsomemeasure,thoughhisfeelingwasnotoneofindifferenceeither.

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