Американская трагедия

Chapter 33

           Thinkashewouldandhowevermuchspirituallyhedesiredtoabsolvehim,washenotactuallyguilty?

           InvainitwasthatMcMillannowpointedouttoClydethathisawakenedmoralandspiritualunderstandingmoreperfectlyandbeautifullyfittedhimforlifeandactionthaneverbefore.Hewasalone.Hehadnoonewhobelievedinhim.NOONE.Hehadnoone,whom,inanyofhistroubledandtorturedactionsbeforethatcrimesawanythingbutthedarkestguiltapparently.Andyetandyet—(andthisdespiteSondraandtheReverendMcMillanandalltheworldforthatmatter,Mason,thejuryatBridgeburg,theCourtofAppealsatAlbany,ifitshoulddecidetoconfirmthejuryatBridgeburg),hehadafeelinginhisheartthathewasnotasguiltyastheyallseemedtothink.AfteralltheyhadnotbeentorturedashehadbyRobertawithherdeterminationthathemarryherandthusruinhiswholelife.TheyhadnotburnedwiththatunquenchablepassionfortheSondraofhisbeautifuldreamashehad.Theyhadnotbeenharassed,tortured,mockedbytheill-fateofhisearlylifeandtraining,forcedtosingandprayonthestreetsashehadinsuchadegradingway,whenhiswholeheartandsoulcriedoutforbetterthings.Howcouldtheyjudgehim,thesepeople,alloranyoneofthem,evenhisownmother,whentheydidnotknowwhathisownmental,physicalandspiritualsufferinghadbeen?Andashelivedthroughitagaininhisthoughtsatthismomentthestingandmentalpoisonofitwasasrealtohimasever.

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