Американская трагедия

Chapter 32

           Besides,thefearofherdragginghimdownhadbeennodecentfear.(Itwasatnightsinhisbunkatthistimethathearguedandreasonedwithhimself,seeingthatMcMillanwasurginghimnowtorepentandmakepeacewithhisGod.)Yes,hewouldhavetoadmitthattohimself.Decidedlyandinstantlyhewouldhavesoughttosaveherlife,ifithadbeenSondra.Andsuchbeingthecase,hewouldhavetoconfessthatifheconfessedatalltotheRev.McMillanortowhomeverelseonetoldthetruthwhenonedidtellitthepublicatlargeperhaps.Butsuchaconfessiononcemade,woulditnotsurelyandtrulyleadtohisconviction?Anddidhewanttoconvicthimselfnowandsodie?

           No,no,betterwaitawhileperhapsatleastuntiltheCourtofAppealshadpassedonhiscase.WhyjeopardizehiscasewhenGodalreadyknewwhatthetruthwas?Truly,trulyhewassorry.Hecouldseehowterribleallthiswasnowhowmuchmiseryandheartache,apartfromthedeathofRoberta,hehadcaused.Butstillstillwasnotlifesweet?Oh,ifhecouldonlygetout!Oh,ifhecouldonlygoawayfromherenevertoseeorhearorfeelanythingmoreofthisterribleterrorthatnowhungoverhim.Theslowcomingdarktheslowcomingdawn.Thelongnight!Thesighsthegroans.Thetorturesbydayandbynightuntilitseemedattimesasthoughheshouldgomad;andwouldperhapsexceptforMcMillan,whonowappeareddevotedtohimsokind,appealingandreassuring,too,attimes.

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