Американская трагедия

Chapter 32

           Thoseterrible,troubleddayswheninspiteofhimself—ashenowunderstoodit(Belknap’sargumenthavingcleareditupforhim)hehadburnedwiththatwildfeverwhichwasnotunakininitsmanifestationstoaformofinsanity.ThebeautifulSondra!ThegloriousSondra!Thewitcheryandfireofhersmilethen!Evennowthatdreadfulfeverwasnotentirelyoutbutonlysmoldering—smotheredbyallofthedreadfulthingsthathadsincehappenedtohim.

           Also,itmustbesaidonhisbehalfnow,mustitnot—thatnever,underanyothercircumstances,wouldhehavesuccumbedtoanysuchterriblethoughtorplotasthat—tokillanyone—letaloneagirllikeRoberta—unlesshehadbeensoinfatuated—lunatic,even.ButhadnotthejurythereatBridgeburglistenedtothatpleawithcontempt?AndwouldtheCourtofAppealsthinkdifferently?Hefearednot.Andyetwasitnottrue?Orwasheallwrong?Orwhat?CouldtheRev.McMillanoranyoneelsetowhomhewouldexplaintellhimastothat?Hewouldliketotalktohimaboutit—confesseverythingperhaps,inordertogethimselfclearonallthis.Further,therewasthefactthathavingplottedforSondra’ssake(andGod,ifnooneelse,knewthat)hestillhadnotbeenabletoexecuteit.Andthathadnotbeenbroughtoutinthetrial,becausethefalseformofdefenseusedpermittednoexplanationoftherealtruththen—andyetitwasamitigatingcircumstance,wasitnot—orwouldtheRev.McMillanthinkso?Aliehadtobeused,asJephsonsawit.

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