Крихітка Дорріт

Chapter 21. The History of a Self-Tormentor

           Theauntwasayoungwoman,andshehadaseriouswaywithhereyesofwatchingme.Shewasanaudaciouswoman,andopenlylookedcompassionatelyatme.AfteroneofthenightsthatIhavespokenof,Icamedownintoagreenhousebeforebreakfast.Charlotte(thenameofmyfalseyoungfriend)hadgonedownbeforeme,andIheardthisauntspeakingtoheraboutmeasIentered.IstoppedwhereIwas,amongtheleaves,andlistened.

           Theauntsaid,‘Charlotte,MissWadeiswearingyoutodeath,andthismustnotcontinue.’IrepeattheverywordsIheard.

           Now,whatdidsheanswer?Didshesay,‘ItisIwhoamwearinghertodeath,Iwhoamkeepingheronarackandamtheexecutioner,yetshetellsmeeverynightthatshelovesmedevotedly,thoughsheknowswhatImakeherundergo?’No;myfirstmemorableexperiencewastruetowhatIknewhertobe,andtoallmyexperience.Shebegansobbingandweeping(tosecuretheaunt’ssympathytoherself),andsaid,‘Dearaunt,shehasanunhappytemper;othergirlsatschool,besidesI,tryhardtomakeitbetter;wealltryhard.’

           Uponthattheauntfondledher,asifshehadsaidsomethingnobleinsteadofdespicableandfalse,andkeptuptheinfamouspretencebyreplying,‘Buttherearereasonablelimits,mydearlove,toeverything,andIseethatthispoormiserablegirlcausesyoumoreconstantanduselessdistressthanevensogoodaneffortjustifies.’

           Thepoormiserablegirlcameoutofherconcealment,asyoumaybepreparedtohear,andsaid,‘Sendmehome.

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