Злочин та покарання

Chapter 4

           (Iamdrinkinganawfullotofwinenowandtalkingtoomuch.)Ihopeyouwon’tbeangryifImentionnowthatIwasbeginningtoproducethesameeffectonAvdotyaRomanovna.ButIwasstupidandimpatientandspoileditall.AvdotyaRomanovnahadseveraltimesandonetimeinparticularbeengreatlydispleasedbytheexpressionofmyeyes,wouldyoubelieveit?Therewassometimesalightinthemwhichfrightenedherandgrewstrongerandstrongerandmoreunguardedtillitwashatefultoher.Noneedtogointodetail,butweparted.ThereIactedstupidlyagain.Ifelltojeeringinthecoarsestwayatallsuchpropagandaandeffortstoconvertme;Parashacameontothesceneagain,andnotshealone;infacttherewasatremendousto-do.Ah,RodionRomanovitch,ifyoucouldonlyseehowyoursister’seyescanflashsometimes!Nevermindmybeingdrunkatthismomentandhavinghadawholeglassofwine.Iamspeakingthetruth.Iassureyouthatthisglancehashauntedmydreams;theveryrustleofherdresswasmorethanIcouldstandatlast.IreallybegantothinkthatImightbecomeepileptic.IcouldneverhavebelievedthatIcouldbemovedtosuchafrenzy.Itwasessential,indeed,tobereconciled,butbythenitwasimpossible.AndimaginewhatIdidthen!Towhatapitchofstupidityamancanbebroughtbyfrenzy!Neverundertakeanythinginafrenzy,RodionRomanovitch.IreflectedthatAvdotyaRomanovnawasafterallabeggar(ach,excuseme,that’snottheword...

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