Сестра Керри

Chapter XXXIV. The Grind Of The Millstones: A Sample Of Chaff

           I’vegotsixweeksmore.Evenifworstcomestoworst,I’vegotenoughtoliveonforsixmonths.”

           Curiously,ashetroubledoverhisfuture,histhoughtsoccasionallyrevertedtohiswifeandfamily.Hehadavoidedsuchthoughtsforthefirstthreeyearsasmuchaspossible.Hehatedher,andhecouldgetalongwithouther.Lethergo.Hewoulddowellenough.Now,however,whenhewasnotdoingwellenough,hebegantowonderwhatshewasdoing,howhischildrenweregettingalong.Hecouldseethemlivingasnicelyasever,occupyingthecomfortablehouseandusinghisproperty.

           “ByGeorge!it’sashametheyshouldhaveitall,”hevaguelythoughttohimselfonseveraloccasions.“Ididn’tdoanything.”

           Ashelookedbacknowandanalysedthesituationwhichleduptohistakingthemoney,hebeganmildlytojustifyhimself.Whathadhedone—whatintheworld—thatshouldbarhimoutthiswayandheapsuchdifficultiesuponhim?Itseemedonlyyesterdaytohimsincehewascomfortableandwell-to-do.Butnowitwasallwrestedfromhim.

           “Shedidn’tdeservewhatshegotoutofme,thatissure.Ididn’tdosomuch,ifeverybodycouldjustknow.”

           Therewasnothoughtthatthefactsoughttobeadvertised.Itwasonlyamentaljustificationhewasseekingfromhimself—somethingthatwouldenablehimtobearhisstateasarighteousman.

           Oneafternoon,fiveweeksbeforetheWarrenStreetplaceclosedup,heleftthesaloontovisitthreeorfourplaceshesawadvertisedinthe“Herald.”OnewasdowninGoldStreet,andhevisitedthat,butdidnotenter.

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