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Chapter 7

           ”

           “Iwanttoexplainalltoyou—everything—everything!IknowyouthinkmeUtopian,don’tyou—anidealist?Oh,no!I’mnot,indeed—myideasareallsosimple.Youdon’tbelieveme?Youaresmiling.Doyouknow,Iamsometimesverywicked—forIlosemyfaith?ThiseveningasIcamehere,Ithoughttomyself,‘WhatshallItalkabout?HowamItobegin,sothattheymaybeabletounderstandpartially,atallevents?’HowafraidIwas—dreadfullyafraid!Andyet,howcouldIbeafraid—wasitnotshamefulofme?WasIafraidoffindingabottomlessabyssofemptyselfishness?Ah!that’swhyIamsohappyatthismoment,becauseIfindthereisnobottomlessabyssatall—butgood,healthymaterial,fulloflife.

           “Itisnotsuchaverydreadfulcircumstancethatweareoddpeople,isit?Forwereallyareodd,youknow—careless,reckless,easilyweariedofanything.Wedon’tlookthoroughlyintomatters—don’tcaretounderstandthings.Wearealllikethis—youandI,andallofthem!Why,hereareyou,now—youarenotabitangrywithmeforcallingyou‘odd,’areyou?And,ifso,surelythereisgoodmaterialinyou?Doyouknow,Isometimesthinkitisagoodthingtobeodd.Wecanforgiveoneanothermoreeasily,andbemorehumble.Noonecanbeginbybeingperfect—thereismuchonecannotunderstandinlifeatfirst.Inordertoattaintoperfection,onemustbeginbyfailingtounderstandmuch.Andifwetakeinknowledgetooquickly,weverylikelyarenottakingitinatall.

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