Идиот

Chapter 10

           Yourememberallthisquiteclearly,buthowisitthatyourreasoncalmlyacceptedallthemanifestabsurditiesandimpossibilitiesthatcrowdedintoyourdream?Oneofthemurdererssuddenlychangedintoawomanbeforeyourveryeyes;thenthewomanwastransformedintoahideous,cunninglittledwarf;andyoubelievedit,andaccepteditallalmostasamatterofcoursewhileatthesametimeyourintelligenceseemedunusuallykeen,andaccomplishedmiraclesofcunning,sagacity,andlogic!Whyisitthatwhenyouawaketotheworldofrealitiesyounearlyalwaysfeel,sometimesveryvividly,thatthevanisheddreamhascarriedwithitsomeenigmawhichyouhavefailedtosolve?Yousmileattheextravaganceofyourdream,andyetyoufeelthatthistissueofabsurditycontainedsomerealidea,somethingthatbelongstoyourtruelife,somethingthatexists,andhasalwaysexisted,inyourheart.Yousearchyourdreamforsomeprophecythatyouwereexpecting.Ithasleftadeepimpressionuponyou,joyfulorcruel,butwhatitmeans,orwhathasbeenpredictedtoyouinit,youcanneitherunderstandnorremember.

           Thereadingoftheselettersproducedsomesucheffectupontheprince.Hefelt,beforeheevenopenedtheenvelopes,thattheveryfactoftheirexistencewaslikeanightmare.Howcouldsheeverhavemadeuphermindtowritetoher?heaskedhimself.

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