Идиот

Chapter 9

           Vainandambitiousalmosttomorbidness,hehadhadmuchtoputupwithinthelasttwomonths,andwasseekingfeverishlyforsomemeansofenablinghimselftoleadamorepresentablekindofexistence.Athome,henowadoptedanattitudeofabsolutecynicism,buthecouldnotkeepthisupbeforeNastasiaPhilipovna,althoughhehadsworntomakeherpayaftermarriageforallhesufferednow.Hewasexperiencingalasthumiliation,thebitterestofall,atthismomentthehumiliationofblushingforhisownkindredinhisownhouse.Aquestionflashedthroughhismindastowhetherthegamewasreallyworththecandle.

           Forthathadhappenedatthismoment,whichfortwomonthshadbeenhisnightmare;whichhadfilledhissoulwithdreadandshamethemeetingbetweenhisfatherandNastasiaPhilipovna.Hehadoftentriedtoimaginesuchanevent,buthadfoundthepicturetoomortifyingandexasperating,andhadquietlydroppedit.Verylikelyheanticipatedfarworsethingsthanwasatallnecessary;itisoftensowithvainpersons.Hehadlongsincedetermined,therefore,togethisfatheroutoftheway,anywhere,beforehismarriage,inordertoavoidsuchameeting;butwhenNastasiaenteredtheroomjustnow,hehadbeensooverwhelmedwithastonishment,thathehadnotthoughtofhisfather,andhadmadenoarrangementstokeephimoutoftheway.Andnowitwastoolatetherehewas,andgotup,too,inadresscoatandwhitetie,andNastasiaintheveryhumourtoheapridiculeonhimandhisfamilycircle;ofthislastfact,hefeltquitepersuaded.

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