Американская трагедия

Chapter 34

           Things—justthings—hadseemedveryimportanttohim—andhehadsoresentedbeingtakenoutonthestreetashehadbeen,beforealltheotherboysandgirls,manyofwhomhadallthethingsthathesocraved,andwhenhewouldhavebeengladtohavebeenanywhereelseintheworldthanoutthere—onthestreet!Thatmissionlifethattohismotherwassowonderful,yet,tohim,sodreary!Butwasitwrongforhimtofeelso?Haditbeen?WouldtheLordresentitnow?And,maybe,shewasrightastoherthoughtsabouthim.Unquestionablyhewouldhavebeenbetteroffifhehadfollowedheradvice.Buthowstrangeitwas,thattohisownmother,andevennowintheseclosinghours,whenaboveallthingshecravedsympathy—butmorethansympathy,trueanddeepunderstanding—evennow—andasmuchasshelovedandsympathizedwith,andwasseekingtoaidhimwithallherstrengthinhersternandself-sacrificingway—stillhecouldnotturntohernowandtellher,hisownmother,justhowitallhappened.Itwasasthoughtherewasanunsurmountablewallorimpenetrablebarrierbetweenthem,builtbythelackofunderstanding—foritwasjustthat.Shewouldneverunderstandhiscravingforeaseandluxury,forbeauty,forlove—hisparticularkindoflovethatwentwithshow,pleasure,wealth,position,hiseagerandimmutableaspirationsanddesires.Shecouldnotunderstandthesethings.Shewouldlookonallofitassin—evil,selfishness.

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