Злочин та покарання

Chapter 7

           “ButwhyaretheysofondofmeifIdon’tdeserveit?Oh,ifonlyIwerealoneandnoonelovedmeandItoohadneverlovedanyone!Nothingofallthiswouldhavehappened.ButIwondershallIinthosefifteenortwentyyearsgrowsomeekthatIshallhumblemyselfbeforepeopleandwhimperateverywordthatIamacriminal?Yes,that’sit,that’sit,that’swhattheyaresendingmetherefor,that’swhattheywant.Lookatthemrunningtoandfroaboutthestreets,everyoneofthemascoundrelandacriminalatheartand,worsestill,anidiot.Buttrytogetmeoffandthey’dbewildwithrighteousindignation.Oh,howIhatethemall!”

           Hefelltomusingbywhatprocessitcouldcometopass,thathecouldbehumbledbeforeallofthem,indiscriminatelyhumbledbyconviction.Andyetwhynot?Itmustbeso.Wouldnottwentyyearsofcontinualbondagecrushhimutterly?Waterwearsoutastone.Andwhy,whyshouldheliveafterthat?Whyshouldhegonowwhenheknewthatitwouldbeso?Itwasthehundredthtimeperhapsthathehadaskedhimselfthatquestionsincethepreviousevening,butstillhewent.

           

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