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Chapter 1

           ‘Ifheisill,ifhismindisgivingway,whocanlookafterhimlikehismother?’shesaid.Weallcameheretogether,wecouldn’tlethercomealonealltheway.Wekeptbegginghertobecalm.Wecamein,youweren’there;shesatdown,andstayedtenminutes,whilewestoodwaitinginsilence.Shegotupandsaid:‘Ifhe’sgoneout,thatis,ifheiswell,andhasforgottenhismother,it’shumiliatingandunseemlyforhismothertostandathisdoorbeggingforkindness.’Shereturnedhomeandtooktoherbed;nowsheisinafever.‘Isee,’shesaid,‘thathehastimeforhisgirl.’ShemeansbyyourgirlSofyaSemyonovna,yourbetrothedoryourmistress,Idon’tknow.IwentatoncetoSofyaSemyonovna’s,forIwantedtoknowwhatwasgoingon.Ilookedround,Isawthecoffin,thechildrencrying,andSofyaSemyonovnatryingthemonmourningdresses.Nosignofyou.Iapologised,cameaway,andreportedtoAvdotyaRomanovna.Sothat’sallnonsenseandyouhaven’tgotagirl;themostlikelythingisthatyouaremad.Buthereyousit,guzzlingboiledbeefasthoughyou’dnothadabiteforthreedays.Thoughasfarasthatgoes,madmeneattoo,butthoughyouhavenotsaidawordtomeyet...youarenotmad!ThatI’dswear!Aboveall,youarenotmad!Soyoumaygotohell,allofyou,forthere’ssomemystery,somesecretaboutit,andIdon’tintendtoworrymybrainsoveryoursecrets.SoI’vesimplycometoswearatyou,”hefinished,gettingup,“torelievemymind.AndIknowwhattodonow.

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