Злочин та покарання

Chapter 5

           

           “AfterwardsshemayshudderwhensheremembersthatIembracedher,andwillfeelthatIstoleherkiss.”

           “Andwouldshestandthattest?”hewentonafewminuteslatertohimself.“No,shewouldn’t;girlslikethatcan’tstandthings!Theyneverdo.”

           AndhethoughtofSonia.

           Therewasabreathoffreshairfromthewindow.Thedaylightwasfading.Hetookuphiscapandwentout.

           Hecouldnot,ofcourse,andwouldnotconsiderhowillhewas.Butallthiscontinualanxietyandagonyofmindcouldnotbutaffecthim.Andifhewerenotlyinginhighfeveritwasperhapsjustbecausethiscontinualinnerstrainhelpedtokeephimonhislegsandinpossessionofhisfaculties.Butthisartificialexcitementcouldnotlastlong.

           Hewanderedaimlessly.Thesunwassetting.Aspecialformofmiseryhadbeguntooppresshimoflate.Therewasnothingpoignant,nothingacuteaboutit;buttherewasafeelingofpermanence,ofeternityaboutit;itbroughtaforetasteofhopelessyearsofthiscoldleadenmisery,aforetasteofaneternity“onasquareyardofspace.”Towardseveningthissensationusuallybegantoweighonhimmoreheavily.

           “Withthisidiotic,purelyphysicalweakness,dependingonthesunsetorsomething,onecan’thelpdoingsomethingstupid!You’llgotoDounia,aswellastoSonia,”hemutteredbitterly.

           Heheardhisnamecalled.Helookedround.Lebeziatnikovrusheduptohim.

           “Onlyfancy,I’vebeentoyourroomlookingforyou.Onlyfancy,she’scarriedoutherplan,andtakenawaythechildren.

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