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Chapter 4

           

           Theysatsidebyside,bothmournfulanddejected,asthoughtheyhadbeencastupbythetempestaloneonsomedesertedshore.HelookedatSoniaandfelthowgreatwasherloveforhim,andstrangetosayhefeltitsuddenlyburdensomeandpainfultobesoloved.Yes,itwasastrangeandawfulsensation!OnhiswaytoseeSoniahehadfeltthatallhishopesrestedonher;heexpectedtoberidofatleastpartofhissuffering,andnow,whenallherheartturnedtowardshim,hesuddenlyfeltthathewasimmeasurablyunhappierthanbefore.

           “Sonia,”hesaid,“you’dbetternotcomeandseemewhenIaminprison.”

           Soniadidnotanswer,shewascrying.Severalminutespassed.

           “Haveyouacrossonyou?”sheasked,asthoughsuddenlythinkingofit.

           Hedidnotatfirstunderstandthequestion.

           “No,ofcoursenot.Here,takethisone,ofcypresswood.Ihaveanother,acopperonethatbelongedtoLizaveta.IchangedwithLizaveta:shegavemehercrossandIgavehermylittleikon.IwillwearLizaveta’snowandgiveyouthis.Takeit...it’smine!It’smine,youknow,”shebeggedhim.“Wewillgotosuffertogether,andtogetherwewillbearourcross!”

           “Giveitme,”saidRaskolnikov.

           Hedidnotwanttohurtherfeelings.Butimmediatelyhedrewbackthehandheheldoutforthecross.

           “Notnow,Sonia.Betterlater,”headdedtocomforther.

           “Yes,yes,better,”sherepeatedwithconviction,“whenyougotomeetyoursuffering,thenputiton.Youwillcometome,I’llputitonyou,wewillprayandgotogether

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