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Chapter 4. A Letter from Little Dorrit

           Ishouldbegladafterthat,andproudandhappy.ButIknowthatImustnotdothis;thathewouldnotlikeit,thatFannywouldbeangry,thatMrsGeneralwouldbeamazed;andsoIquietmyself.Yetindoingso,IstrugglewiththefeelingthatIhavecometobeatadistancefromhim;andthateveninthemidstofalltheservantsandattendants,heisdeserted,andinwantofme.

           DearMrClennam,Ihavewrittenagreatdealaboutmyself,butImustwritealittlemorestill,orwhatIwantedmostofalltosayinthisweakletterwouldbeleftoutofit.Inallthesefoolishthoughtsofmine,whichIhavebeensohardyastoconfesstoyoubecauseIknowyouwillunderstandmeifanybodycan,andwillmakemoreallowanceformethananybodyelsewouldifyoucannot—inallthesethoughts,thereisonethoughtscarcelyever—never—outofmymemory,andthatisthatIhopeyousometimes,inaquietmoment,haveathoughtforme.Imusttellyouthatastothis,Ihavefelt,eversinceIhavebeenaway,ananxietywhichIamveryanxioustorelieve.Ihavebeenafraidthatyoumaythinkofmeinanewlight,oranewcharacter.Don’tdothat,Icouldnotbearthat—itwouldmakememoreunhappythanyoucansuppose.ItwouldbreakmyhearttobelievethatyouthoughtofmeinanywaythatwouldmakemestrangertoyouthanIwaswhenyouweresogoodtome.WhatIhavetoprayandentreatofyouis,thatyouwillneverthinkofmeasthedaughterofarichperson;thatyouwillneverthinkofmeasdressinganybetter,orlivinganybetter,thanwhenyoufirstknewme

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