Крихітка Дорріт

Chapter 31. Spirit

           Tellmehowitis,thatImaynotdoitagain!’

           ‘Howitis,youprevaricatinglittlepieceofgoods!’criedFanny.‘Youknowhowitis.Ihavetoldyoualready,sodon’tflyinthefaceofProvidencebyattemptingtodenyit!’

           ‘Hush!Amy,’saidthefather,passinghispocket-handkerchiefseveraltimesacrosshisface,andthengraspingitconvulsivelyinthehandthatdroppedacrosshisknee,‘IhavedonewhatIcouldtokeepyouselecthere;IhavedonewhatIcouldtoretainyouapositionhere.Imayhavesucceeded;Imaynot.Youmayknowit;youmaynot.Igivenoopinion.Ihaveenduredeverythingherebuthumiliation.ThatIhavehappilybeenspared—untilthisday.’

           Herehisconvulsivegraspuncloseditself,andheputhispocket-handkerchieftohiseyesagain.LittleDorrit,onthegroundbesidehim,withherimploringhanduponhisarm,watchedhimremorsefully.Comingoutofhisfitofgrief,heclenchedhispocket-handkerchiefoncemore.

           ‘HumiliationIhavehappilybeenspareduntilthisday.Throughallmytroublestherehasbeenthat—Spiritinmyself,andthat—thatsubmissiontoit,ifImayusetheterm,inthoseaboutme,whichhassparedme—ha—humiliation.Butthisday,thisminute,Ihavekeenlyfeltit.’

           ‘Ofcourse!Howcoulditbeotherwise?’exclaimedtheirrepressibleFanny.‘CareeringandprancingaboutwithaPauper!’(air-gunagain).

           ‘But,dearfather,’criedLittleDorrit,‘Idon’tjustifymyselfforhavingwoundedyourdearheart—no!HeavenknowsIdon’t!’Sheclaspedherhandsinquiteanagonyofdistress.

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