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Chapter 10. Containing the whole Science of Government

           Boardssatuponthem,secretariesminuteduponthem,commissionersgabbledaboutthem,clerksregistered,entered,checked,andtickedthemoff,andtheymeltedaway.Inshort,allthebusinessofthecountrywentthroughtheCircumlocutionOffice,exceptthebusinessthatnevercameoutofit;anditsnamewasLegion.

           Sometimes,angryspiritsattackedtheCircumlocutionOffice.Sometimes,parliamentaryquestionswereaskedaboutit,andevenparliamentarymotionsmadeorthreatenedaboutitbydemagoguessolowandignorantastoholdthattherealrecipeofgovernmentwas,Howtodoit.Thenwouldthenoblelord,orrighthonourablegentleman,inwhosedepartmentitwastodefendtheCircumlocutionOffice,putanorangeinhispocket,andmakearegularfield-dayoftheoccasion.Thenwouldhecomedowntothathousewithaslapuponthetable,andmeetthehonourablegentlemanfoottofoot.ThenwouldhebetheretotellthathonourablegentlemanthattheCircumlocutionOfficenotonlywasblamelessinthismatter,butwascommendableinthismatter,wasextollabletotheskiesinthismatter.Thenwouldhebetheretotellthathonourablegentlemanthat,althoughtheCircumlocutionOfficewasinvariablyrightandwhollyright,itneverwassorightasinthismatter.Thenwouldhebetheretotellthathonourablegentlemanthatitwouldhavebeenmoretohishonour,moretohiscredit,moretohisgoodtaste,moretohisgoodsense,moretohalfthedictionaryofcommonplaces,ifhehadlefttheCircumlocutionOfficealone,andneverapproachedthismatter.

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