Chapter 38

           Thefirsteffectofthedoctor’sdecisionwastoshockandterrifythembothRobertaandClydebeyondmeasure.ForapparentlynowherewasillegitimacyanddisgraceforRoberta.ExposureanddestructionforClyde.Andthishadbeentheironesolutionseemingly.Then,bydegrees,forClydeatleast,therewasaslightliftingoftheheavypall.Perhaps,afterall,asthedoctorhadsuggestedandonceshehadrecoveredhersensessufficientlytotalk,shehadtoldhimtheendhadnotbeenreached.Therewasthebarepossibility,assuggestedbythedruggist,Shortandthedoctor,thatshemightbemistaken.Andthis,whilenotproducingahappyreactioninher,hadtheunsatisfactoryresultofinducinginClydealethargybasedmorethananythingelseontheever-hauntingfearofinabilitytocopewiththissituationaswellasthecertaintyofsocialexposureincasehedidnotwhichcausedhim,insteadofstrugglingallthemoredesperately,todeferfurtherimmediateaction.For,suchwashisnaturethat,althoughherealizedclearlytheprobablytragicconsequencesifhedidnotact,stillitwassohardtothinktowhomelsetoapplytowithoutdangertohimself.Tothinkthatthedoctorhad"turnedherdown,"ashephrasedit,andthatShort’sadviceshouldhavebeenworthaslittleasthat!

           Butapartfromnervousthoughtsastowhomtoturntonext,noparticularindividualoccurredtohimbeforethetwoweeksweregone,orafter.Itwassohardtojustaskanywhere.Onejustcouldn’tdoit.

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