Холодний дім

Esther’s Narrative

           Theprojectswithwhichshebeguiledherillness,forlittleEsther’seducation,andlittleEsther’smarriage,andevenforherownoldageasthegrandmotheroflittleEsther’slittleEsthers,wassoprettilyexpressiveofdevotiontothisprideofherlifethatIshouldbetemptedtorecallsomeofthembutforthetimelyremembrancethatIamgettingonirregularlyasitis.Toreturntotheletter.Caddyhadasuperstitionaboutmewhichhadbeenstrengtheninginhermindeversincethatnightlongagowhenshehadlainasleepwithherheadinmylap.ShealmostIthinkImustsayquitebelievedthatIdidhergoodwheneverIwasnearher.Nowalthoughthiswassuchafancyoftheaffectionategirl’sthatIamalmostashamedtomentionit,stillitmighthavealltheforceofafactwhenshewasreallyill.ThereforeIsetofftoCaddy,withmyguardian’sconsent,post-haste;andsheandPrincemadesomuchofmethatthereneverwasanythinglikeit.NextdayIwentagaintositwithher,andnextdayIwentagain.Itwasaveryeasyjourney,forIhadonlytorisealittleearlierinthemorning,andkeepmyaccounts,andattendtohousekeepingmattersbeforeleavinghome.ButwhenIhadmadethesethreevisits,myguardiansaidtome,onmyreturnatnight,"Now,littlewoman,littlewoman,thiswillneverdo.Constantdroppingwillwearawayastone,andconstantcoachingwillwearoutaDameDurden.WewillgotoLondonforawhileandtakepossessionofouroldlodgings.""Notforme,dearguardian,"saidI,"forIneverfeeltired,"whichwasstrictlytrue.

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