Холодний дім

Esther’s Narrative

           Ilookuponitasapursuitwhichisinitsnaturemoreorlessunsettled,andthereforesuitedtomytemporaryconditionImaysay,preciselysuited.WhatisitthatInaturallyturnmythoughtsto?"Ilookedathimandshookmyhead."What,"saidRichard,inatoneofperfectconviction,"butthearmy!""Thearmy?"saidI."Thearmy,ofcourse.WhatIhavetodoistogetacommission;andthereIam,youknow!"saidRichard.Andthenheshowedme,provedbyelaboratecalculationsinhispocket-book,thatsupposinghehadcontracted,say,twohundredpoundsofdebtinsixmonthsoutofthearmy;andthathecontractednodebtatallwithinacorrespondingperiodinthearmyastowhichhehadquitemadeuphismind;thisstepmustinvolveasavingoffourhundredpoundsinayear,ortwothousandpoundsinfiveyears,whichwasaconsiderablesum.AndthenhespokesoingenuouslyandsincerelyofthesacrificehemadeinwithdrawinghimselfforatimefromAda,andoftheearnestnesswithwhichheaspiredasinthoughthealwaysdid,Iknowfullwelltorepayherlove,andtoensureherhappiness,andtoconquerwhatwasamissinhimself,andtoacquiretheverysoulofdecision,thathemademyheartachekeenly,sorely.For,Ithought,howwouldthisend,howcouldthisend,whensosoonandsosurelyallhismanlyqualitiesweretouchedbythefatalblightthatruinedeverythingitrestedon!IspoketoRichardwithalltheearnestnessIfelt,andallthehopeIcouldnotquitefeelthen,andimploredhimforAda’ssakenottoputanytrustinChancery.

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