Холодний дім

Esther’s Narrative

           "Well,Richard,"saidIassoonasIcouldbegintobegravewithhim,"areyoubeginningtofeelmoresettlednow?""Oh,yes,mydear!"returnedRichard."I’mallrightenough.""Butsettled?"saidI."Howdoyoumean,settled?"returnedRichardwithhisgaylaugh."Settledinthelaw,"saidI."Oh,aye,"repliedRichard,"I’mallrightenough.""Yousaidthatbefore,mydearRichard.""Andyoudon’tthinkit’sananswer,eh?Well!Perhapsit’snot.Settled?Youmean,doIfeelasifIweresettlingdown?""Yes.""Why,no,Ican’tsayIamsettlingdown,"saidRichard,stronglyemphasizing"down,"asifthatexpressedthedifficulty,"becauseonecan’tsettledownwhilethisbusinessremainsinsuchanunsettledstate.WhenIsaythisbusiness,ofcourseImeantheforbiddensubject.""Doyouthinkitwilleverbeinasettledstate?"saidI."Nottheleastdoubtofit,"answeredRichard.Wewalkedalittlewaywithoutspeaking,andpresentlyRichardaddressedmeinhisfrankestandmostfeelingmanner,thus:"MydearEsther,Iunderstandyou,andIwishtoheavenIwereamoreconstantsortoffellow.Idon’tmeanconstanttoAda,forIloveherdearlybetterandbettereverydaybutconstanttomyself.(Somehow,ImeansomethingthatIcan’tverywellexpress,butyou’llmakeitout.)IfIwereamoreconstantsortoffellow,IshouldhaveheldoneithertoBadgerortoKengeandCarboylikegrimdeath,andshouldhavebeguntobesteadyandsystematicbythistime,andshouldn’tbeindebt,and""AREyouindebt,Richard?""Yes,"saidRichard,"Iamalittleso,mydear.

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