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The Smallweed Family

           Besidehimisasparecushionwithwhichheisalwaysprovidedinorderthathemayhavesomethingtothrowatthevenerablepartnerofhisrespectedagewhenevershemakesanallusiontomoneyasubjectonwhichheisparticularlysensitive."Andwhere’sBart?"GrandfatherSmallweedinquiresofJudy,Bart’stwinsister."Hean’tcomeinyet,"saysJudy."It’shistea-time,isn’tit?""No.""Howmuchdoyoumeantosayitwantsthen?""Tenminutes.""Hey?""Tenminutes."(LoudonthepartofJudy.)"Ho!"saysGrandfatherSmallweed."Tenminutes."GrandmotherSmallweed,whohasbeenmumblingandshakingherheadatthetrivets,hearingfiguresmentioned,connectsthemwithmoneyandscreecheslikeahorribleoldparrotwithoutanyplumage,"Tenten-poundnotes!"GrandfatherSmallweedimmediatelythrowsthecushionather."Dratyou,bequiet!"saysthegoodoldman.Theeffectofthisactofjaculationistwofold.ItnotonlydoublesupMrs.Smallweed’sheadagainstthesideofherporter’schairandcauseshertopresent,whenextricatedbyhergranddaughter,ahighlyunbecomingstateofcap,butthenecessaryexertionrecoilsonMr.Smallweedhimself,whomitthrowsbackintoHISporter’schairlikeabrokenpuppet.Theexcellentoldgentlemanbeingatthesetimesamereclothes-bagwithablackskull-caponthetopofit,doesnotpresentaveryanimatedappearanceuntilhehasundergonethetwooperationsatthehandsofhisgranddaughterofbeingshakenuplikeagreatbottleandpokedandpunchedlikeagreatbolster.

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