Холодний дім

Enlightened

           "Esther,willyouforgiveme?WillmycousinJohnforgiveme?""Mydear,"saidI,"todoubtitforamomentistodohimagreatwrong.Andastome!"Why,astome,whathadItoforgive!Idriedmysobbingdarling’seyesandsatbesideheronthesofa,andRichardsatonmyotherside;andwhileIwasremindedofthatsodifferentnightwhentheyhadfirsttakenmeintotheirconfidenceandhadgoneonintheirownwildhappyway,theytoldmebetweenthemhowitwas."AllIhadwasRichard’s,"Adasaid;"andRichardwouldnottakeit,Esther,andwhatcouldIdobutbehiswifewhenIlovedhimdearly!""Andyouweresofullyandsokindlyoccupied,excellentDameDurden,"saidRichard,"thathowcouldwespeaktoyouatsuchatime!Andbesides,itwasnotalong-consideredstep.Wewentoutonemorningandweremarried.""Andwhenitwasdone,Esther,"saidmydarling,"Iwasalwaysthinkinghowtotellyouandwhattodoforthebest.AndsometimesIthoughtyououghttoknowitdirectly,andsometimesIthoughtyououghtnottoknowitandkeepitfrommycousinJohn;andIcouldnottellwhattodo,andIfrettedverymuch."HowselfishImusthavebeennottohavethoughtofthisbefore!Idon’tknowwhatIsaidnow.Iwassosorry,andyetIwassofondofthemandsogladthattheywerefondofme;Ipitiedthemsomuch,andyetIfeltakindofprideintheirlovingoneanother.Ineverhadexperiencedsuchpainfulandpleasurableemotionatonetime,andinmyownheartIdidnotknowwhichpredominated.ButIwasnottheretodarkentheirway;Ididnotdothat.

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