Chapter 2

           Forthenexteightortenmonths,Oliverwasthevictimofasystematiccourseoftreacheryanddeception. Hewasbroughtupbyhand. Thehungryanddestitutesituationoftheinfantorphanwasdulyreportedbytheworkhouseauthoritiestotheparishauthorities. Theparishauthoritiesinquiredwithdignityoftheworkhouseauthorities, whethertherewasnofemalethendomiciledin‘thehouse’ whowasinasituationtoimparttoOliverTwist,theconsolationandnourishment ofwhichhestoodinneed. Theworkhouseauthoritiesrepliedwithhumility,thattherewasnot. Uponthis,theparishauthoritiesmagnanimouslyandhumanelyresolved, thatOlivershouldbe‘farmed,’ or,inotherwords,thatheshouldbedispatchedtoabranch-workhousesomethreemilesoff, wheretwentyorthirtyotherjuvenileoffendersagainstthepoor-laws,rolledaboutthefloorallday, withouttheinconvenienceoftoomuchfoodortoomuchclothing, undertheparentalsuperintendenceofanelderlyfemale, whoreceivedtheculpritsatandfortheconsiderationofsevenpence-halfpennypersmallheadperweek. Sevenpence-halfpenny’sworthperweekisagoodrounddietforachild; agreatdealmaybegotforsevenpence-halfpenny,quiteenoughtooverloaditsstomach,andmakeituncomfortable. Theelderlyfemalewasawomanofwisdomandexperience; sheknewwhatwasgoodforchildren; andshehadaveryaccurateperceptionofwhatwasgoodforherself. So,sheappropriatedthegreaterpartoftheweeklystipendtoherownuse, andconsignedtherisingparochialgenerationtoevenashorterallowance thanwasoriginallyprovidedforthem. Therebyfindinginthelowestdepthadeeperstill; andprovingherselfaverygreatexperimentalphilosopher. 

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