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Chapter 31

           Butthoseweren’ttheworstthingsaboutthewar,Scarlett.TheworstthingaboutthewarwasthepeopleIhadtolivewith.

           "Ihadshelteredmyselffrompeopleallmylife,Ihadcarefullyselectedmyfewfriends.ButthewartaughtmeIhadcreatedaworldofmyownwithdreampeopleinit.Ittaughtmewhatpeoplereallyare,butitdidn’tteachmehowtolivewiththem.AndI’mafraidI’llneverlearn.Now,Iknowthatinordertosupportmywifeandchild,IwillhavetomakemywayamongaworldofpeoplewithwhomIhavenothingincommon.You,Scarlett,aretakinglifebythehornsandtwistingittoyourwill.ButwheredoIfitintheworldanymore?ItellyouIamafraid."

           Whilehislowresonantvoicewenton,desolate,withafeelingshecouldnotunderstand,Scarlettclutchedatwordshereandthere,tryingtomakesenseofthem.Butthewordsswoopedfromherhandslikewildbirds.Somethingwasdrivinghim,drivinghimwithacruelgoad,butshedidnotunderstandwhatitwas.

           "Scarlett,Idon’tknowjustwhenitwasthatthebleakrealizationcameovermethatmyownprivateshadowshowwasover.PerhapsinthefirstfiveminutesatBullRunwhenIsawthefirstmanIkilleddroptotheground.ButIknewitwasoverandIcouldnolongerbeaspectator.No,Isuddenlyfoundmyselfonthecurtain,anactor,posturingandmakingfutilegestures.Mylittleinnerworldwasgone,invadedbypeoplewhosethoughtswerenotmythoughts,whoseactionswereasalienasaHottentot’s.

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