Chapter 32

           Shewasstillclutchingtheballofredclaywhenshewentupthefrontsteps.Shehadcarefullyavoidedthebackentrance,forMammy’ssharpeyeswouldcertainlyhaveseenthatsomethingwasgreatlyamiss.ScarlettdidnotwanttoseeMammyoranyoneelse.Shedidnotfeelthatshecouldendureseeinganyoneortalkingtoanyoneagain.Shehadnofeelingofshameordisappointmentorbitternessnow,onlyaweaknessofthekneesandagreatemptinessofheart.Shesqueezedtheclaysotightlyitranoutfromherclenchedfistandshesaidoverandover,parrot-like:"I’vestillgotthis.Yes,I’vestillgotthis."

           Therewasnothingelseshedidhave,nothingbutthisredland,thislandshehadbeenwillingtothrowawaylikeatornhandkerchiefonlyafewminutesbefore.Now,itwasdeartoheragainandshewondereddullywhatmadnesshadpossessedhertoholditsolightly.HadAshleyyielded,shecouldhavegoneawaywithhimandleftfamilyandfriendswithoutabackwardlookbut,eveninheremptiness,sheknewitwouldhavetornherhearttoleavethesedearredhillsandlongwashedgulliesandgauntblackpines.Herthoughtswouldhaveturnedbacktothemhungrilyuntilthedayshedied.NotevenAshleycouldhavefilledtheemptyspacesinherheartwhereTarahadbeenuprooted.HowwiseAshleywasandhowwellheknewher!Hehadonlytopressthedampearthintoherhandtobringhertohersenses.

           Shewasinthehallpreparingtoclosethedoorwhensheheardthesoundofhorse’shoovesandturnedtolookdownthedriveway.