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Heads or Tails

           BecausetheLordWardenisbusilyemployedattimesinfobbinghisperquisites;whicharehischieflybyvirtueofthatsamefobbingofthem.

           Nowwhenthesepoorsun-burntmariners,bare-footed,andwiththeirtrowsersrolledhighupontheireelylegs,hadwearilyhauledtheirfatfishhighanddry,promisingthemselvesagoodL150fromthepreciousoilandbone;andinfantasysippingrareteawiththeirwives,andgoodalewiththeircronies,uponthestrengthoftheirrespectiveshares;upstepsaverylearnedandmostChristianandcharitablegentleman,withacopyofBlackstoneunderhisarm;andlayingituponthewhale’shead,hesays—"Handsoff!thisfish,mymasters,isaFast-Fish.IseizeitastheLordWarden’s."UponthisthepoormarinersintheirrespectfulconsternationsotrulyEnglishknowingnotwhattosay,falltovigorouslyscratchingtheirheadsallround;meanwhileruefullyglancingfromthewhaletothestranger.Butthatdidinnowisemendthematter,oratallsoftenthehardheartofthelearnedgentlemanwiththecopyofBlackstone.Atlengthoneofthem,afterlongscratchingaboutforhisideas,madeboldtospeak,

           "Please,sir,whoistheLordWarden?"

           "TheDuke."

           "Butthedukehadnothingtodowithtakingthisfish?"

           "Itishis."

           "Wehavebeenatgreattrouble,andperil,andsomeexpense,andisallthattogototheDuke’sbenefit;wegettingnothingatallforourpainsbutourblisters?"

           "Itishis."

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