Мартін Іден

Chapter 45

           "Yousee,itappearsthiswaytome,"hewenton. "WhenIwasallthatIamnow,nobodyoutofmyownclassseemedtocareforme. Whenmybookswereallwritten,noonewhohadreadthemanuscriptsseemedtocareforthem. Inpointoffact,becauseofthestuffIhadwrittentheyseemedtocareevenlessforme. InwritingthestuffitseemedthatIhadcommittedactsthatwere,tosaytheleast,derogatory. ‘Getajob,’everybodysaid." 

           Shemadeamovementofdissent. 

           "Yes,yes,"hesaid;"exceptinyourcaseyoutoldmetogetaposition. Thehomelywordjob,likemuchthatIhavewritten,offendsyou. Itisbrutal. ButIassureyouitwasnolessbrutaltomewheneverybodyIknewrecommendedittomeastheywouldrecommendrightconducttoanimmoralcreature. Buttoreturn. ThepublicationofwhatIhadwritten,andthepublicnoticeIreceived,wroughtachangeinthefibreofyourlove. MartinEden,withhisworkallperformed,youwouldnotmarry. Yourloveforhimwasnotstrongenoughtoenableyoutomarryhim. Butyourloveisnowstrongenough,andIcannotavoidtheconclusionthatitsstrengtharisesfromthepublicationandthepublicnotice. InyourcaseIdonotmentionroyalties,thoughIamcertainthattheyapplytothechangewroughtinyourmotherandfather. Ofcourse,allthisisnotflatteringtome. Butworstofall,itmakesmequestionlove,sacredlove. Islovesogrossathingthatitmustfeeduponpublicationandpublicnotice? Itwouldseemso. Ihavesatandthoughtuponittillmyheadwentaround." 

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