Мартін Іден

Chapter 44

           ThentherewasRuth. Shehadlikedhimforhimself,thatwasindisputable. Andyet,muchasshehadlikedhimshehadlikedthebourgeoisstandardofvaluationmore. Shehadopposedhiswriting,andprincipally,itseemedtohim,becauseitdidnotearnmoney. Thathadbeenhercriticismofhis"Love-cycle." She,too,hadurgedhimtogetajob. Itwastrue,sherefineditto"position,"butitmeantthesamething,andinhisownmindtheoldnomenclaturestuck. Hehadreadherallthathewrote—poems,stories,essays—"Wiki-Wiki,""TheShameoftheSun,"everything. Andshehadalwaysandconsistentlyurgedhimtogetajob,togotowork—goodGod! —asifhehadn’tbeenworking,robbingsleep,exhaustinglife,inordertobeworthyofher. 

           Sothelittlethinggrewbigger. Hewashealthyandnormal,ateregularly,sleptlonghours,andyetthegrowinglittlethingwasbecominganobsession. Workperformed. Thephrasehauntedhisbrain. HesatoppositeBernardHigginbothamataheavySundaydinneroverHigginbotham’sCashStore,anditwasallhecoulddotorestrainhimselffromshoutingout:- 

           "Itwasworkperformed! Andnowyoufeedme,whenthenyouletmestarve,forbademeyourhouse,anddamnedmebecauseIwouldn’tgetajob. Andtheworkwasalreadydone,alldone. Andnow,whenIspeak,youcheckthethoughtunutteredonyourlipsandhangonmylipsandpayrespectfulattentiontowhateverIchoosetosay. 

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