Мартін Іден

Chapter 41

           But,instead,hewentintotheForumCaféandorderedabreakfastthatcosttwodollars. Hetippedthewaiteraquarter,andspentfiftycentsforapackageofEgyptiancigarettes. ItwasthefirsttimehehadsmokedsinceRuthhadaskedhimtostop. Buthecouldseenownoreasonwhyheshouldnot,andbesides,hewantedtosmoke. Andwhatdidthemoneymatter? ForfivecentshecouldhaveboughtapackageofDurhamandbrownpapersandrolledfortycigarettesbutwhatofit? Moneyhadnomeaningtohimnowexceptwhatitwouldimmediatelybuy. Hewaschartlessandrudderless,andhehadnoporttomake,whiledriftinginvolvedtheleastliving,anditwaslivingthathurt. 

           Thedaysslippedalong,andheslepteighthoursregularlyeverynight. Thoughnow,whilewaitingformorechecks,heateintheJapaneserestaurantswheremealswereservedfortencents,hiswastedbodyfilledout,asdidthehollowsinhischeeks. Henolongerabusedhimselfwithshortsleep,overwork,andoverstudy. Hewrotenothing,andthebookswereclosed. Hewalkedmuch,outinthehills,andloafedlonghoursinthequietparks. Hehadnofriendsnoracquaintances,nordidhemakeany. Hehadnoinclination. Hewaswaitingforsomeimpulse,fromheknewnotwhere,toputhisstoppedlifeintomotionagain. Inthemeantimehisliferemainedrundown,planless,andemptyandidle. 

           OncehemadeatriptoSanFranciscotolookupthe"realdirt." Butatthelastmoment,ashesteppedintotheupstairsentrance,herecoiledandturnedandfledthroughtheswarmingghetto. 

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