Мартін Іден

Chapter 40

           "Itis." Shespokeinalow,firmvoiceandwithdeliberation. "Itisofmyownfreewill. YouhavedisgracedmesothatIamashamedtomeetmyfriends. Theyarealltalkingaboutme,Iknow. ThatisallIcantellyou. Youhavemademeveryunhappy,andIneverwishtoseeyouagain." 

           "Friends! Gossip! Newspapermisreports! Surelysuchthingsarenotstrongerthanlove! Icanonlybelievethatyouneverlovedme." 

           Ablushdrovethepallorfromherface. 

           "Afterwhathaspassed?"shesaidfaintly. "Martin,youdonotknowwhatyouaresaying. Iamnotcommon." 

           "Yousee,shedoesn’twanttohaveanythingtodowithyou,"Normanblurtedout,startingonwithher. 

           Martinstoodasideandletthempass,fumblingunconsciouslyinhiscoatpocketforthetobaccoandbrownpapersthatwerenotthere. 

           ItwasalongwalktoNorthOakland,butitwasnotuntilhewentupthestepsandenteredhisroomthatheknewhehadwalkedit. Hefoundhimselfsittingontheedgeofthebedandstaringabouthimlikeanawakenedsomnambulist. Henoticed"Overdue"lyingonthetableanddrewuphischairandreachedforhispen. Therewasinhisnaturealogicalcompulsiontowardcompleteness. Herewassomethingundone. Ithadbeendeferredagainstthecompletionofsomethingelse. Nowthatsomethingelsehadbeenfinished,andhewouldapplyhimselftothistaskuntilitwasfinished. Whathewoulddonexthedidnotknow. Allthathedidknowwasthataclimactericinhislifehadbeenattained. Aperiodhadbeenreached,andhewasroundingitoffinworkman-likefashion. Hewasnotcuriousaboutthefuture. Hewouldsoonenoughfindoutwhatitheldinstoreforhim. Whateveritwas,itdidnotmatter. Nothingseemedtomatter. 

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