Преступление и наказание

Chapter 5

           theverythoughtofitmademefeelsickandfilledmewithhorror.

           “No,Icouldn’tdoit,Icouldn’tdoit!Granted,grantedthatthereisnoflawinallthatreasoning,thatallthatIhaveconcludedthislastmonthisclearasday,trueasarithmetic....MyGod!AnywayIcouldn’tbringmyselftoit!Icouldn’tdoit,Icouldn’tdoit!Why,whythenamIstill...?”

           Herosetohisfeet,lookedroundinwonderasthoughsurprisedatfindinghimselfinthisplace,andwenttowardsthebridge.Hewaspale,hiseyesglowed,hewasexhaustedineverylimb,butheseemedsuddenlytobreathemoreeasily.Hefelthehadcastoffthatfearfulburdenthathadsolongbeenweighinguponhim,andallatoncetherewasasenseofreliefandpeaceinhissoul.“Lord,”heprayed,“showmemypathIrenouncethataccursed...dreamofmine.”

           Crossingthebridge,hegazedquietlyandcalmlyattheNeva,attheglowingredsunsettingintheglowingsky.Inspiteofhisweaknesshewasnotconsciousoffatigue.Itwasasthoughanabscessthathadbeenformingforamonthpastinhishearthadsuddenlybroken.Freedom,freedom!Hewasfreefromthatspell,thatsorcery,thatobsession!

           Lateron,whenherecalledthattimeandallthathappenedtohimduringthosedays,minutebyminute,pointbypoint,hewassuperstitiouslyimpressedbyonecircumstance,which,thoughinitselfnotveryexceptional,alwaysseemedtohimafterwardsthepredestinedturning-pointofhisfate.

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