Преступление и наказание

Chapter 5

           

           “Father!Whydidthey...kill...thepoorhorse!”hesobbed,buthisvoicebrokeandthewordscameinshrieksfromhispantingchest.

           “Theyaredrunk....Theyarebrutal...it’snotourbusiness!”saidhisfather.Heputhisarmsroundhisfatherbuthefeltchoked,choked.Hetriedtodrawabreath,tocryoutandwokeup.

           Hewakedup,gaspingforbreath,hishairsoakedwithperspiration,andstoodupinterror.

           “ThankGod,thatwasonlyadream,”hesaid,sittingdownunderatreeanddrawingdeepbreaths.“Butwhatisit?Isitsomefevercomingon?Suchahideousdream!”

           Hefeltutterlybroken:darknessandconfusionwereinhissoul.Herestedhiselbowsonhiskneesandleanedhisheadonhishands.

           “GoodGod!”hecried,“canitbe,canitbe,thatIshallreallytakeanaxe,thatIshallstrikeheronthehead,splitherskullopen...thatIshalltreadinthestickywarmblood,breakthelock,stealandtremble;hide,allspatteredintheblood...withtheaxe....GoodGod,canitbe?”

           Hewasshakinglikealeafashesaidthis.

           “ButwhyamIgoingonlikethis?”hecontinued,sittingupagain,asitwereinprofoundamazement.“IknewthatIcouldneverbringmyselftoit,sowhathaveIbeentorturingmyselffortillnow?Yesterday,yesterday,whenIwenttomakethat...experiment,yesterdayIrealisedcompletelythatIcouldneverbeartodoit....WhyamIgoingoveritagain,then?WhyamIhesitating?AsIcamedownthestairsyesterday,Isaidmyselfthatitwasbase,loathsome,vile,vile...

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