Мартин Иден

Chapter 42

           "I’vekeptstraightalltheseyears,"shesaid,hervoicesolowthatitwasalmostawhisper. 

           InhisheartMartinknewthatitwasthemiraculoustruth. Andathisheartpleadedagreattemptation. Itwasinhispowertomakeherhappy. Deniedhappinesshimself,whyshouldhedenyhappinesstoher? Hecouldmarryherandtakeherdownwithhimtodwellinthegrass-walledcastleintheMarquesas. Thedesiretodoitwasstrong,butstrongerstillwastheimperativecommandofhisnaturenottodoit. InspiteofhimselfhewasstillfaithfultoLove. Theolddaysoflicenseandeasylivingweregone. Hecouldnotbringthemback,norcouldhegobacktothem. Hewaschangedhowchangedhehadnotrealizeduntilnow. 

           "Iamnotamarryingman,Lizzie,"hesaidlightly. 

           Thehandcaressinghishairpausedperceptibly,thenwentonwiththesamegentlestroke. Henoticedherfaceharden,butitwaswiththehardnessofresolution,forstillthesoftcolorwasinhercheeksandshewasallglowingandmelting. 

           "Ididnotmeanthat"shebegan,thenfaltered. "OranywayIdon’tcare." 

           "Idon’tcare,"sherepeated. "I’mproudtobeyourfriend. I’ddoanythingforyou. I’mmadethatway,Iguess." 

           Martinsatup. Hetookherhandinhis. Hediditdeliberately,withwarmthbutwithoutpassion; andsuchwarmthchilledher. 

           "Don’tlet’stalkaboutit,"shesaid. 

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